Bike commuters lie to you. They tell you that bicycling will save you moolah. This is a myth. And here is why.
All that money you save on gas by not driving doesn’t go into your wallet. It goes into your stomach. Once you start biking regularly, you will be starving! Like, an extra meal a day starving. Like, it’s 9:30 in the morning and I need second breakfast now and I know I’ll need a snack before dinner too starving. Think of yourself as becoming a hobbit.
Your hard-earned cash also goes into your washing machine. One set of riding clothes. One set of work clothes. One set of got-home-just-took-a-shower-don’t-want-to-put-back-on-work-clothes-that-I-wore-after-riding-and-then-no-shower clothes. That’s three outfits a day, folks. Which equals a whole other load of laundry a week.
I also assume that eventually I will be having to shell out big bucks for an entirely new wardrobe. Why? For all the pounds I miraculously drop with all this extra exercise, of course.
So, you see? Big time liars, bikers. Propagandists. Manipulators. And the real problem is, by the time you’ve figured out the truth, you’re hooked. You continue the commuting because it’s fun and peaceful and healthy and stress-relieving and mood-lifting and environmentally responsible and does anyone have a dollar I can borrow for the vending machine?
Magrilless 
This is my favorite entry so far. I knew there was a reason I don’t bicycle. Of course if you sit around on your duff all day, it gets bigger and you still need a new wardrobe anyway.
see you should have gotten a recumbent. then you would not have had to worry about having extra money for the vending machine, and you would not have to worry about so much exercise that you needed a new set of duds.
It’s key make sure those extra meals/snacks are the right kind. Like extra movie theater butter popcorn or cupcakes… two or three of them at a time. Real whipped cream. Lots of it. On everything.You won’t need a new wardrobe if you offset all the calorie burning properly.Just a little tip from me to you.And trust me – it works.
What about all the savings of the healthcare costs of not bicycling?
honey, you missed it all. with the size change and lack of appropriate snacks to help with calorie depletion, you only need to visualize one happening! the CRUSEYup, we eat till we drop, oh boy, and shop till Scott frantically but with love, calls shore to ship and tells us to stop spending. Until then we’ll have fun fitting you to this wonderful new size, that is if we don’t eat soooooooooooo much that your old clothes, now too big, suddenly fit again. hum……we’ll just have to figure it out.