magrilless

Project #1-1/2

I revisited the dehydrator’s fruit roll-up tray yesterday.

Clearly I still have some perfecting left to do. But this batch (of blueberries mixed with blueberry yogurt) was edible, even tasty. It just may not be a “turn it on in the morning and it’s ready when you come home from work” sort of recipe. Some careful monitoring may be in order. At least until the magic recipe presents itself.

Lions and Tigers and Giraffes?

If you thought my DIY habit was bad, you should take a look at this:

This is my boss and the company’s do-everything man putting the final construction touches on the life-size giraffe they constructed. Bossman wanted giraffes in his garden at home, so he enlisted some help, purchased some supplies, and went at it.

I didn’t just leave work one day and spy the giraffe in the parking lot (what a shock that would have been!). It’s been a project that’s taken much time and has spread all over the premises. It started out as a torso on the lawn,

followed by a head (thankfully attached to the torso),

and legs in the shop.

They have even evolved to reproduction: a baby giraffe!

I’m all for fun projects that result in something you’re proud of, but this is a little over the top for me. (Plus, what kind of a garden must you have for a life-size giraffe to not look out of place?)

Bossman and Handyman have now turned their attention to dinosaurs and insects. You know the kits that you can buy that are precut balsa wood (or something) and you just slip the pieces together at the slots? Well, they decided to make jumbo sized ones. They purchase the kit, photocopy the pieces at ginormous-times zoom, and then cut those pieces out of plywood with a jigsaw or whatever. This is also out of my realm of DIY. (Plus, what kind of a garden must you have for a life-size giraffe family and jumbo-size insects and dinosaur skeletons to not look out of place?)

Not to mention that it can be kind of dangerous. Today, Handyman caused quite a hullaballoo when he cut the tip of his pinky off. (He’s fine. It was just the very very tip; not to the bone or the nail. They even told him it will grow back, although I have a hard time believing it.) He walked in from the shop clutching a rag and told Bosslady he needed to go to the hospital. She proceeded to panic (I think) and bark orders at people while Handyman walked outside. It ended up as a group of us standing around with our coats half-on, all willing to drive to the ER, while Bosslady shrieked “Hurry!!” from down the hall. The short straw went to the coworker who does not faint at the sight of blood and knew which hospital to go to and had Handyman’s wife’s number in her cell phone (i.e., not me).

And I wonder: Does workman’s comp cover erecting giant insects out of plywood?

JACS Man in the House!

Bill just got word that his paper (which has been a long time in the making) has been accepted in the Journal of the American Chem. Society! This is the journal to which all organic chemists aspire to publish. (The only journals that would be more exciting would be Science or Nature, which means that even us lay people would think the topic is noteworthy.)

Complete acceptance. No revisions necessary. A JACS paper!

Am I bragging for him? You betcha. YAY!!

Um . . . Inappropriate Much?

I’m proofreading a book right now that centers on childhood language disorders. Interspersed in the text are samples of diagnostic tests and reading inventories — tools a speech-language pathologist would use in order to decide if a kid had a disorder of some type.

In one of these samples there is a list of sentences the child is supposed to read while the SLP scores his or her “performance.” These sentences include things like,

Who is on the phone?
I like these.
I watched him yesterday.
I am going to nursery school.

And

Where is the gun?

Really?

Groovy, Man

Last night we finished up the second project of the weekend: tie-dying underwear. You may think this is odd. And, yes, it probably is. For a white elephant gift last last Christmas, Bill got a tie-dying kit and it’s been sitting in the closet for a year. Because, really, once you hit a certain age and/or professional status, it just really isn’t cool to wear tie-dyed t-shirts everyday. Maybe one for mowing the lawn or as pajamas, but you can’t wear it to work or school. So, what to do? Underwear just seems to follow logically.

On Sunday afternoon we popped the included DVD into the TV and watched a nice long-haired lady with little round glasses and a certain “life is cool” aura demonstrate how to make the different patterns: random, bull’s eye, stripes, mirror image, spiral. We donned our latex gloves and got going.

Step 1: Shape your items as instructed for different patterns and stabilize with rubber bands. Let them soak in a warm soda ash-water solution for half an hour.

Step 2: Make a mess in the kitchen by poking the dye bottles into the crevices of your wet bundles, letting your imagination flow.

Step 3: Wrap each item in plastic and let them stew for 12 to 24 hours. Feel the tension and excitement grow.

Step 4: Rinse the bright balls and coils in warm-hot water until the water rinses clean. Put them in the washer with liquid soap and let the machine do its magic. Then put the won’t-ever-run-again items in the dryer and let that machine do its magic too.

Step 5: Remove your clothes from the dryer and marvel at your new, exciting, unbelievingly chipper under-wardrobe! And refrain from winking at people in the office just because you have a naughty little secret of nether grooviness; they probably won’t understand.

The whole procedure was super fun and super easy. And I do sort of have a bit of a smile on my face today. I would definitely repeat it. I may never have untie-dyed underwear again!

Project #2: Enthusiastic Thumb Up!